i just watched a filipino documentary tv show on cable. it's another sad story, as usual. it was about the unpleasant living conditions of squatters somewhere in manila, or probably near manila. wasn't sure exactly where.

it may just sound like another article in a magazine or newspaper. but seeing the issue on tv is different. it brought me to tears especially since i know that that was supposed to be my homecountry. it's different to see where and how they sleep, how dark the neighborhood is (because there is no electricity), how unsanitary their common bathroom is, how dirty their water is, how they make a living at the dumpsite, how thin the children are, and to hear how their children lost their lives because of all these.

the camera seemed to capture a forgotten and an abandoned community. it was a dark, dirty, and lonely village - if that's what u can even use to call it. these people have simple dreams like to have a decent house to live in.

it's really sad.

pity is one thing, but not being able to understand why i have my life and theirs are nothing like mine is another thing. it makes me a little angry.

i know it could be the government's fault or even the poor themselves who may be complacent with what they have, or it could even be because of history.
but, it all boils down to the question: why do people have to live such lives? in such a dark and hopeless world, while other people like me have decent homes? and those people i saw on tv are supposed to be my fellow country men, people who come from the same place that is my first home.

i'll be involved in a humanitarian project in dec back home. i don't know how much that trip will change me.